Where is my Barry Goldwater?

Even before the recent trend of Bushies distancing themselves from him, I was told by my brother that he's really an independent. My brother-in-law told me that he's really a libertarian (then quickly regretted it). My friend in Atlanta called himself a libertarian too. All these people who voted for Bush--life couldn't get any better for the Republican party and Bush supporters. What happened? Bush's second term happened. The truth, and reality, is always exposed in a second-term presidency (see Reagan). Maybe they were canaries in this darkening coal mine? Ha! Probably not. I'm doing fine, what's YOUR problem?

Soon, the whole [country] will be [evolutionized], Daddy! [Thanks Devo--NO, not TiVo!]

This idea has been brewing in my head for a few weeks now. With apologies to Paula Cole and many thanks to Calvin Trillin.


Where Have All the Republicans Gone?

Oh they got you ready just because of your daddy
Why yes you’ll get into Skull and Bones
Take shelter in the National Guard
An MBA at Harvard
Would you like at least a passing grade
We’ll do all the heavy lifting you just sit and relax

CHORUS:

Where is our Ronald Reagan
Where is our Barry Goldwater
Where is our happy ending
Where have all the Republicans gone

Why don't you run Arbusto
And drive it into the ground
Your daddy’s buddies will keep you afloat
Oh we know that you partnered with Salem bin Laden
Osama’s half-brother and cousin
We will turn a blind eye if you just just strike it rich

Where is our Ronald Reagan
Where is our Barry Goldwater
Where is our happy ending
Where have all the Republicans gone

We’ll elect you two times in a row
But you don't, but you don't really notice us
Vote for lies
Vote for lies
Vote for lies

We’re finally coming around
While your ratings start to slowly slip
And you beat the drum against Iran
You sold us out to the UAE
And you slept during Katrina
Almost everything you do now reeks
Others still support you while your friends all head to jail

Where is our Ronald Reagan
Where is our Barry Goldwater
Where is our happy ending
Where have all the Republicans gone

Where is our Rick Santorum
Where is his looney base
Where is our only savior
Where has all the Right Wing gone
Where has all the Right Wing gone
Where has all the Right Wing gone
Yippee yo, yippee yeah