Hail to Thee, Dear Old Thompsonia!

Republic of Thompsonia






Motto Nosce te ipsum

Anthem Thompsonia!

Capital Thompsonia 39°99’ N 76°47’ W

Largest City Thompsonia

Official Language(s) Thompsonian English

Government Co-Presidency
Co-President Johnathan Thompson
Co-President Suzette Thompson

Independence Declared From United States July 5, 2005

Area .01 km2 54,449 sq ft

Population 6
Pop. Density 300/km2

GDP Classified

HDI (2003) .900 - high

Currency American Dollar (USD)

Time Zone EST (UTC-5)
Summer (DST) EDT (UTC-4)

Internet TLD .net

Calling Code 717

History
Founded July 5, 2005. Originally one greater land mass comprising two Provinces--Thompsonia and Waltheria, after the Luisandtammie Purchase, December 2005, Thompsonia was reduced by about one-quarter.

Politics
Mostly Liberal/Progressive, partly Populist, a little Libertarian and Socialist, fairly Green.

Geography
A landlocked country, the Republic of Thompsonia encompasses a great part of lands once occupied by Washington Boronians. Thompsonia’s terrain is mostly arable rich former farmland.

Economy
Agriculture, Crafts and Scholastic

Demographics
Population
The Republic of Thompsonia has a population of approximately 6 citizens, according to the last population census in 2005. In the rural areas are inhabited 83% of the population.

Ethnicities
The Republic of Thompsonia is an ethnically diverse country. The largest ethnic group in the country are Anglo-Saxon descendants. In the last population census approximately 3 inhabitants declared themselves to be of Anglo-Saxon descent, which represents 50% of the population. They are concentrated mostly in the southern and central parts of the country. Smaller minorities also exist, including Canine-Thompsonians and Feline Thompsonians, comprising 33% and 17% of the population respectively.

Languages
The official and most widely spoken language is Thompsonian English, which belongs to the American English language group. Other minor languages include Caninian and Felinian.

Religion
Christian/Seekers

Culture
The Republic of Thompsonia has a rich cultural heritage in art and music.

Thompsonian music styles developed under the strong influence of the school of the Letortians. Thompsonia’s greatest living musician currently resides in Thompsonia and gives recitals daily.

Military
We have a potato gun, fireworks, pointed sticks, and TWO of our citizens bite. One of them is even a dog! We have had inspectors searching for the rumoured poo stick. No such WMD (Weapon of Malodorous Disgustion) has been found, however.

Suddenly Seymour

This is a piece done the year following Veggiefus. It was never used due to my employers' myopia.

My intention with this illustration was pay homage to Seymour Chwast. I've always loved his illustration style and, especially, his staying power and relevance.

While doing research at the time, and to my amazement, I found that Mr. Chwast was selling royalty-free illustration in a set of 5 CDs. I was reminded of what my college professor used to tell us repeatedly--this is not art! More to the point, this is commerce.

Mr. Chwast, while being a giant in the industry, is obviously humble enough to sell his work in a RF format. Some day, I'd love to do the same. I recommend you link to his site and check out his posters. Some may even be familier to the laity. Beautifully colorful, clever and stylish! His wrok still pops up in the most unexpected places, recently in an issue of the Nation I was reading (Jan. 30, 2006).

A few years ago, I asked a few young artists if they knew who Seymour Chwast was. None of them knew. Very sad. I blame the schools their schools and instructors. As I was so surprised, I then thought I might offer to their school my services as a graphic design history instructor. I didn't follow through. I've been busy enough with my own business. The prospect still has a certain hold on me though. I used to enjoy mentoring young people in the business. Still do when I can. Explaining to them why we do what we do is paramount. Schools usually only teach them the what and how.

I must say that this piece isn't instantly recognizable as Chwast-like, considering that S. seemed to excel at human characterization. Ironic, then, that the ONE time I choose to honor him I choose a piece almost devoid of a human character. Further irony that, looking back upon my work as I prepared it for blogs ad infinitum, I've tended to be primarily a character illustrator.

I beefed up this illustration and added my own little style to it. Too bad this idea was cut. Not everyone appreciates illustration. They think it cheapens the message. One final irony, in that respect--I chose to do this illustration because I knew that a brightly-colored, fun, graphically-oriented cover would pop in the drab racks of the county's many restaurant foyers and gift shops. Much like Mr. Chwast's posters.

Suddenly, Seymour, is standing beside you.

Veggiefus Tales

Here’s a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean...

This was a piece I had always wanted to do--basically a 3-D Veggie Tales-type piece. Strange, that when I finally got around to doing an illustration like this it involved exploiting the Amish.

Almost inevitably, every time we did a job in this agency to represent our county or region, it involved the Amish. Makes sense, considering that we ARE a tourist trap for that kind of thing. I’ll never understand people driving, flying, busing--what have you--hundreds of miles to see farmers plowing their fields and go to family restaurants to eat food that would give any normal sedentary, overweight American a coronary. Although...I love the beach, so I guess that when I visit there the locals ask themselves, "Why would anyone want to travel hundreds of miles to see the ocean and eat fresh seafood?" HA! Yeah, right! Sounds silly, doesn’t it? Makes it sound even sillier to visit farmland when you could go to the beach, hike in the mountains, see a Broadway show, etc.

Additional unspecified odds and ends, indeed.

[By the way, regarding exploitation of the "untainted, innocent, God-fearing" Amish--yeah, right! They're just as exploitive of the "English" as we are of them. Trust me. And innocent? Virtuous? I could tell you stories. Some of you have already heard them.]

Anyway, while art directing this job, I thought it would be a really cool idea to get four artists together and depict our county with four illustrations--preferably one for each season. I farmed it out to three other artists and did the final drawing myself--little Jakey Veggiefus!

The artists did great jobs. One did a train in the style of local artist Charles Demuth sans the homoerotic overtones; another created a wonderful farm scene with cut paper; the final did a colored pencil sketch of a farmer's market scene. All in all, a nice little combo. The finished piece really didn't do the art justice however. But that wasn't a problem. I had a vision greater than this simple ephemeral rack brochure. I was going be reponsible for an artist creation! Well, I suppose one fascinating aspect of this little endeavor was the feeling of being an art teacher and getting wonderful work from fellow artists, AND providing them a little piece of something nice for their respective portfolios. And a nice little story like mine, should they choose to tell it.

Did my artistic creation work?

Well, I asked each artist to draw at a specific size so I could save and mount the pieces together to put up in our hallways. You know...art.

They all came back in different sizes.

Artists. What are ya gonna do?

Never shake hands with a naked Norristownonian

So, many of you are asking yourself, “Why Chez T?” Many of you others are probably asking yourselves, “Why should I care?” The remainder of you are probably asking yourselves, “Do I have to be subjected to another boring blog post?”

To the first of you I offer this story:

When I was a wee lad of some 21, 22 or so, I had me a Little Sister. And she had this friend, Julie, who subsequently became my friend (as long as I continued to sacrifice to her vengeful god, Kala the Grasshopper God, on the 5th Saturday of every February--geez, that’s coming up soon isn’t it?) These two girls were a curious pair of Norristownonians. If you’ve ever been to Norristownonia or met a Norristownonian, you’d know just what I’m talking about. Well, I had this ferret, see? And his name was Lin Ho, Your Sister, She is a Pig. I also believe, at the time, we accidentally cracked open one claw of our fraternity lobster, Rock, and, after that, we drank beer through the missing appendage out of Rock’s body. Kinda nasty, really. I think I was the only one who really did it.

Well, one day, Mary suggested I drink out of my ferret, Lin Ho, Your Sister, She is a Pig. Weird, because that would have involved drinking out of a LIVE animal and not a broken plastic toy replica of a sea creature. I told you there was something odd about those Norristownonians. Nonetheless, having NOT drunk out of little Lin Ho, Your Sister, She is a Pig at the time, Mary suggested, as a substitute, a nickname for me, Chez T. She then suggested I do a little diagram as to HOW to drink out of a ferret for posterity’s sake. Here is the story:

Wait, I...uh...just told you the story...

Anyway, the name Chez T may also be related to the fact that I like to cook. Am I good cook? Ask any Norristownonian YOU know.

Just don’t turn your back on one of them--or look one straight in the eye, trust me.

M M M M M My Gazpacho...

In keeping with the recent Spanish flavor of another post, I would like to introduce to you to...ta da...my Gazpacho recipe.

Many people don’t know this, but Gazpacho actually means “Tomato Cowboy” in Spanish. Steve Molinero wrote about it in his song, “El Bromista”, which was on the Spanish version soundtrack of the sequel to the first Batman movie starring...Michael Keaton! ; “Alguna gente me llama el vaquero del tomate, algo me llama el gángster del amor...” Roughly translated to, “Some people call me the Tomato Cowboy, some call me the Gangster of Love...” Tomato Cowboy and Gangster of Love being euphemisms for the Joker’s (El Bromista) brutish behavior...

Chez T’s “Tomato Cowboy” Gazpacho:

• 6 medium/large tomatoes, peeled and chopped
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 small pepper (orange, yellow, red or green--or a combo)
• 1 medium cucumber, seeded and chopped
• 1 small zucchini, small dice (this I added, you can omit)
• 2 cups V8 or tomato juice
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1 slight TB lemon juice
• 1 slight TB cider or raspberry vinegar
• 1 slight TB lime juice
• hot pepper sauce (as much as you like)
• Lots of fresh herbs (recommended but mix how you like - 1 TB each parsley, basil, oregano, tarragon, thyme, chives - I wing this part every time)
• salt/pepper to taste
• dash Worcestershire sauce
• 2 TB tomato paste

Pureé (only if you want) about 2 cups of soup to add extra thickening. Mix well and refrigerate for at least 4 hours. Fresh croutons are great on this. You could also put chopped up hard cooked egg on top as well.

End.

The key to this recipe, as with every recipe, is to have fun with it. Wang Chung with it, if you must. All I’m saying is that this is great to experiment with. Truly, the only thing you CANNOT fudge are the tomatoes. Mmmmm...tomato fudge. Use the BEST you can find, even if you can’t get Washington Boro tomatoes. I will let you in on this secret: Washington Boro tomatoes are made of people. Not really. They’re Jet Stars. And Jet Stars are made of people. P-E-E-E-O-O-O-PLE!!!

gaz·pa·cho (gə-spä'chō gəz-pä'-) n. pl. gaz·pa·chos:
A spicy chilled soup usu. made with chopped tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, peppers, and herbs.
[Sp, probably of Mozarabic origin; akin to Spanish caspicias, remainders, worthless things.]
.

Black and white but not read all over

What, if anything, can we conclude from this paragraph?

Paragraph excerpt from a letter I received from Senator Rick Santorum, dated February 2, 2006.

Young Ninja in Training

I've recently uncovered evidence explaining why I was hesitant to don the rabbit outfit for Miles. Something in my youth...

Conejo de Ninja, o cómo Capi casi consiguió su Brokeback

Ninja Rabbit wasn’t created by me. Just wanted to mention that. Most people know where he came from anyway. From the brain (and what a brain it is) of Miles Lewis Horst (of course). To this day I’m not entirely sure where the rabbit outfit came from though. It’s pretty scary when you consider that someone in a fraternity had a rabbit outfit. Most likely some sort of fetish. If anyone would like to own up to the outfit, please post here. Then we will disseminate across the web and make ya famous. Possibly it was for when we had egg hunts for children. Did we do that at the time? I do distinctly remember Rob Hoffman dressed in a rabbit outfit. Krazy Kane Kids.

One day, Miles got this nutty idea to dress someone up in a rabbit costume, arm them with nunchakus and film it--Ninja Rabbit was born! I’m fairly certain the weapon was Bob’s, maybe Kintigh’s, maybe left over from a female party guest, who really knows, I guess? They were the foam kind--we were crazy but not certifiable! Yeah, right, you may ask, "What about mop bucket jousting?" "What about Tide Slide?" And I will say, "What about pointed sticks?" Well, anyway, I weaseled out of dressing up in the costume, for some reason not enjoying being in the spotlight (weird, huh?), so Miles got the next best thing (kidding), my roommate, Bob “Bubbles” Ross. By the way, I have another cartoon I drew about the same time as Bud’s de-evolution that posits how Bob may have gotten his nickname. To this day I still don’t know why they called him Bubbles. And who “they” were.

Back to the story. Miles was always filming things in school. I’m not sure if he was a film student or simply just a voyeur. Something I saw Miles do repeatedly on January 25, 1986 led me to believe he may be the latter. Nevertheless, I think there was filming involved on that one day (not 1/25/86, mind you) so long ago, my friend.

Well, one thing led to another and eventually Ninja Rabbit became a staple in my repertoire during those years. The image shown was actually done after I left school, I think. It was based on Carole K's comment about the new movie “Batman” with Michael Keaton and how Batman’s ears, in the opening sequence, reminded her of Ninja Rabbit. There are a few other drawings of said ninja as well (not shown). I had even done a few panels of a comic strip, but those are lost to history. You will eventually find other Ninja Rabbit drawings in the Photography and Illustration sidebar of this blog.

Funny, story: In the summer of ‘86 we had a foreign exchange student living with us at Sigma Nu named Capi (Juan Mañuel Garcia y Juan). Capi’s name derived from the Juan, etc. blah blah y Juan aspect of his name. That’s what I thought he told us. Of course, Capi means captain in Spanish, so whatever THAT had to do with, I’m not sure. Poodles may know. He was the only one who could actually speak with him as Capi never quite learned to speak English very well and Scott and Capi COULD converse in French. We DID teach Capi quite a bit of English, but alas, nothing he could really use, hahaha! Back to the story--one day as Capi was sleeping one off, Bubbles and I snuck into his room, Bob dressed as Ninja Rabbit and me dressed with a Buji Boy mask. When Capi woke up we heard the most eloquent string of Spanish obscenities we have ever heard. I miss Capi. We truly frightened him. Crazy Americans? You decide.

What Capi must have thought of us. This I remember, however: before he left he asked me to come to Spain and learn Judo under his tutelage. Once, at Triangle, he jumped gleefully into the fray after some dunce started a fight with me. This, despite his having been injured DUE to the Judo he practiced. I also remember when he finally left us that summer in the back seat of the car with Mike Zdan and Darryl. The look on Capi’s face--”Help me.”

I wonder: why didn’t Capi use his Judo to defend himself in that room so long ago against a ninja and de-evolved child? Maybe his Judo was no match for our Ninja Style.

Hm, we shall see!

The De-evolution of John Thompson

I suppose this is the most appropriate image for me to kick off this blog. When I mentioned what I was doing to a few people, their first comments were in regard to this cartoon. Funny what remains in the memory banks after 20 odd years. I'm pretty philosophical about it nowadays. At the time, it was funny to me and to a few others, but now I wonder if it wasn't just an obnoxious potshot at a friend. We've not heard much from Bud in the last 10 or so years. Maybe this is a good example of why. By the way, for those of you with delicate sensibilities, understand that the language contained in this cartoon is from a snapshot in time and in no way a reflection of Bud or (I think) myself in reality now. I suppose you can approach what I post from hereon out in two ways then--I'm either a nasty little man who can draw or I'm a harmless artist/cartoonist whose opinion means very little, at any rate, but who feels an egotistical need to leave something behind for posterity; or just an outlet to relate my opinions.

Now, as to why I decided to finally start to blog. Last fall I was goofing around on the web, probably procrastinating while working at home, when I decided to Google a friend from college. We were cube-mates in the graphic design program at Penn State. Lo and behold, I found Dave at a blog called aviatordave, etc. (don't bother, it's "defunct" as you will shortly find out why). It was remarkable to see what Dave had been up to as we had lost touch for the last 15 years. Crazy. He had become a pilot and owned his own small plane, gotten remarried, among other things, and, much to my shock, had contracted lung cancer months earlier. I found him roughly before Thanksgiving and we exchanged a few e-mails and, just before my family went off to Florida to visit my parents, I read that Dave had finally succumbed to the disease. He fought valiantly from what I've heard from him and from his wonderful wife's blog. I feel terrible that I'd lost contact with Dave but then I realized that WE lost contact, not just me. I still have so many unanswered questions of Dave, one big one in particular, but some information just goes to the grave, unfortunately.

Well, back to why I decided to blog. Seeing Dave's life unfold on his blog was fascinating to me. I'd like to thank him for inspiring me to finally find a voice of sorts. I've never felt that I had anything substantive or interesting to say. But, now I feel that the time has come. What I DO have to say will be contained in some of the art I've done in my life, whether it is commercial or personal. I'll most likely comment on the pieces too. Maybe even have a rant that is unrelated to art. Who knows?

Dave's ashes will be scattered in flight over the Old Rhinebeck Aerodrome in New York on what would have been his 39th birthday.

God bless you, Dave.