Two Guys, A Pledge and a Party Place

Rated PGU-13*
Warning: This post contains childish humor and should not be viewed by anyone over the age of 13.

Due to the crankiness of my last post, I decided to do something a little bit more fun, less venomous in this post. Enjoy.

This little cartoon I did as an answer to why my roommate was nicknamed "Bubbles". This is purely conjecture. I have yet to know why he WAS called Bubbles. Of course, I never did call Bob Bubbles. Seemed a little strange to me. Made me feel as though I was part of the butt of a joke I wasn't in on (even though EVERYONE else was doing it!) If ANYONE within the sound of this blog can tell me why Bob was called Bubbles, please enlighten us all.


The song following is a little about my summer of '85. I worked all summer, Bob took one class I think. Lane, not sure, maybe took a few classes. The House was relatively empty and boy did we have fun! Going to sleep when the birds were chirping early in the morning almost every day, antagonizing Lane and Gina incessantly. I'm sure there are a lot more memories I've lost. Talk to Lane--see if he has equally as good memories of that summer.

LITTLE LANE KINTIGH
(Sung to the tune of Big Harlan Taylor)

I once had a roommate his name was Bubbles
He was better than roommates that I'd had so far
And we had us a pledge named Little Lane Kintigh
And Bubbles had a rubber tired Granada car

Oh the ways of two frat boys as we pestered our pledgie
Should have put Dwayne in therapy for many a year

Oh we climbed on the rooftop but Lane wasn’t buying
We tried but in vain to get him back in our room
He’d lost motor function and the will to go on
What we’d done to cause this had brought on our doom

Oh the ways of two frat boys as we annoyed our newbie
Should have therapized Klinja for many a year

But it was a good summer for Bob, me and Lanie
There was a lot of real stupid things that we’d do
Like taking the Granada car down to Beta
What a funny night that was for we Sigma Nus

Oh the ways of two frat boys as we abused dear Lanie
Might have put him in therapy for many a year
Yeah, shoulda ther-appized him many a year
Oompapa oompapa oompapa...

This little gem some of you may know. During a toga party once, I remember chatting with Bob on the second floor near the window at the end of the hall (where the vaccuum more often than not was found beneath after any other party.) Well, this party was different. What was different was that a vaccuum was never found at THIS particular party, but something else. Bob and I were chatting--he was not betoga-ed, I was--and during that chat Bob was looking in and out of the window, nervously it seemed. He had locked the door to his room, 210, and was trying to determine how easily he could get through his room's window. I left Bob, wandered off bored. Later I heard that TR was on the dance floor with someone when he turned to them and asked, "Was that Bubbles who just fell past the window?" Indeed it was! Now, two things are important to remember: I'm fairly certain that Bob wasn't drinking much, if at all, that night AND when Steve Kearns called a news crew to report on the incident later on, we all couldn't get past how unbelievably stupid he was to do that. Brilliant idea to bring a news crew to report an accident that happened DURING a party in your OWN fraternity! VERY bright public relations move, thank you very much, Steve!

Well, instead of spreading the news of a "drunken" incident at a frat, thus underscoring what everyone assumed about frats, I decided to simply draw this clever little cartoon. Might have even been Lane's idea. Not sure.

To be fair to Bob, both and he and I were climbers. When we lived in the second floor suite in the summer of '85, we used to climb up on the roof all the time. Once, Lane even "joined" us. Most likely we're the reason going up on the roof was banned. Good idea, I suppose. Of course, I don't recall ever listening to what I was told to do much at the House (see fireworks and Fiji; flags and Fiji; flags and Beta; etc.).

On a final note: Once while attending a party at Lane's in Pittsburgh in about '98 I was surprised to find that Bob would be coming by with his son (sans wife for some reason). It was pretty interesting to me as I hadn't seen Bob since Kintigh's wedding and before that, after playing strip beer pong with Lane and winning Mr. Sigma Nu! Seems to be a pattern, here, huh? Well, at that party I heard Bob yelling Alexander's name and wondered why he was yelling at my son. I went over to see what was going on and realized that he was yelling at HIS son, Alexander! Pretty funny. His son was teaching my son to throw rocks at my minivan, by the way. Now I have daydreams of Alexander Ross and my Alexander having their fun with Jack Kintigh while living at Sigma Nu. Hey, it could happen!

Most likely Jack will have been trained up a little by his dad though and would know how to handle those two.

*PG Under 13

Mean Mr. Redneck works in Shop, he never stops...

I've been wondering quite a bit lately, "Why DO I have to like rednecks?"

There are Redneck Comedy Tours now, Larry the Cable Guy has a new movie, NASCAR is the #1 growing sport, two of the biggest female bubble gum popstars are REAL rednecks--Holy Cow! (Britney, Jessica), and everyone is now getting monster SUVs (yes, I think that is a hillbilly act of aggression). Not only that, but people continue to PROUDLY display the Confederate battle flag with gun racks in the back of their trucks and we're called intolerant if we think the Stars and Bars is a racist symbol. Believe me, my own brother thinks that Democrats are all racist and intolerant. This coming from one of the biggest redneck capitals in the world, Colorado Springs. Eek!

From my experience, rednecks are mostly cruel and intolerant bigots who, even WITH the benefit of a college education, cannot understand any concept more complicated than his gun, his dog, his truck and his beer--maybe his wife, as long as she keeps her yap shut and doesn't go askin' for a beatin'.

Ok. Maybe I'm generalizing a little too broadly and being equally as mean-spirited. But, maybe as these cartoons progress (YES, they will be a series of my experiences with the redder necks I've met in my life), however, you too will see, by MY perspective, why I think it's ridiculous to celebrate ignorance, Philistinism, racism and intolerance.

Don't believe the Larry-the-Cable-Guy-is-one-of-us hype. None of them are that cute and lovable--Fight the Power!

Also, remember, if you disagree with me, just post a response.

The 17-Year Locusts Come Back to Capistrano

This is just a brief little funny I jotted down in 1989. When reviewing and scanning all my drawings I stumbled across this bit of pyrite. I hadn't given it a second thought, but through the miracle of modern computers and the internets I was able to, within the space of one-half hour, bring to life a long lost creation. A-maaaa-zing... I used to keep a shoebox in which I would toss my stray ideas for further execution. Usually the thoughts came after a weekend at Penn State from about 89-94, with Sue driving (most likely our crappy little Plymouth Horizon or Dodge Aries--WHAT were we thinking?!?) and endorphins in my brain popping along smoothly enough to give me nicely creative ideas. Upon later review of some of those ideas, they weren't very great--maybe neither is this one. Who knows? That's for you to decide. I've already shared this with a few people and they patted me on the head and told me "That's really nice, John. You're a good little drawer, aren't you??"

By the way, sadly, I've lost my idea shoebox somewhere in moving from apartment to house to final resting place. Hope this lost nugget causes just a small chuckle.

As always, click on the image to embiggen. Also, when reading the finished piece, do the voice!! You know you wanna.

Chez T’s Chunky Vegetable Hot & Sour Soup (no monkeys were harmed in the making of this recipe)

Ok, there IS a reason why this website is called Chez T. I'd like to pass along Sue's favorite hot & sour soup recipe--one that, over time, I concocted from my immense knowledge of mixing strange and interesting things into glowing brown medleys of spicy and vinegary savory liquids. This is very quick to make once prep is done:

Chez T’s Chunky Vegetable Hot & Sour Soup

1 lb. boneless pork tenderloin
25 dried lily buds, soaked in cold water 30 min.
4 TB dried cloud ears, soaked in cold water 30 min.
12 dried mushrooms, soaked in cold water 30 min. then sliced OR
12 fresh shiitake mushrooms, sliced
2 TB sesame seed oil
2 10-1/2 oz cans chicken broth
2 10-1/2 oz cans consommé
3 soup cans water
1 15 oz can stir fry vegetables (bamboo shoots/baby corn/water chestnuts/bean sprouts)
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 cup bean curd, cut into small cubes
2 TB soy sauce
1/2 tsp sugar
2 eggs, well beaten
1/2 cup Chinese red vinegar or red wine vinegar
7 TB cornstarch mixed w/ 7 TB cold water

Garnish:

4 TB diag. sliced green onions
cooked ham dice
fresh grated carrot
2 TB garlic chili sauce OR
2 TB chili sauce w/ 2 cloves minced garlic

Freeze meat 1 hour to firm (making slicing easier); slice into very thin strips. Drain lily buds, cloud ears and (mushrooms). In large saucepan, brown pork in oil. Add broth, consommé and water. Add cornstarch/water mixture to liquid and thicken on medium-high heat for about 5 min. Add lily buds, cloud ears, mushrooms, stir fry vegetables and ginger. Cover; cook over low heat for 10 min. Add bean curd, soy sauce and sugar; bring to a boil then set to simmer. Gradually pour egg into simmering soup, stiring gently until set. Add vinegar and garnish items. Serve immediately.

Makes about 14 cups

Where is my Barry Goldwater?

Even before the recent trend of Bushies distancing themselves from him, I was told by my brother that he's really an independent. My brother-in-law told me that he's really a libertarian (then quickly regretted it). My friend in Atlanta called himself a libertarian too. All these people who voted for Bush--life couldn't get any better for the Republican party and Bush supporters. What happened? Bush's second term happened. The truth, and reality, is always exposed in a second-term presidency (see Reagan). Maybe they were canaries in this darkening coal mine? Ha! Probably not. I'm doing fine, what's YOUR problem?

Soon, the whole [country] will be [evolutionized], Daddy! [Thanks Devo--NO, not TiVo!]

This idea has been brewing in my head for a few weeks now. With apologies to Paula Cole and many thanks to Calvin Trillin.


Where Have All the Republicans Gone?

Oh they got you ready just because of your daddy
Why yes you’ll get into Skull and Bones
Take shelter in the National Guard
An MBA at Harvard
Would you like at least a passing grade
We’ll do all the heavy lifting you just sit and relax

CHORUS:

Where is our Ronald Reagan
Where is our Barry Goldwater
Where is our happy ending
Where have all the Republicans gone

Why don't you run Arbusto
And drive it into the ground
Your daddy’s buddies will keep you afloat
Oh we know that you partnered with Salem bin Laden
Osama’s half-brother and cousin
We will turn a blind eye if you just just strike it rich

Where is our Ronald Reagan
Where is our Barry Goldwater
Where is our happy ending
Where have all the Republicans gone

We’ll elect you two times in a row
But you don't, but you don't really notice us
Vote for lies
Vote for lies
Vote for lies

We’re finally coming around
While your ratings start to slowly slip
And you beat the drum against Iran
You sold us out to the UAE
And you slept during Katrina
Almost everything you do now reeks
Others still support you while your friends all head to jail

Where is our Ronald Reagan
Where is our Barry Goldwater
Where is our happy ending
Where have all the Republicans gone

Where is our Rick Santorum
Where is his looney base
Where is our only savior
Where has all the Right Wing gone
Where has all the Right Wing gone
Where has all the Right Wing gone
Yippee yo, yippee yeah

...and a banana for your monkey!

I had meant to post this much earlier but I've recently gotten busy with work--and other things that have currently preoccupied my mind.

To begin with, I told a writer friend that I'd like to post info about his new book on this blog So, here it is, along with an image of the author and the cover of his book. Some of you have already been informed of the book release, this is for those of you who have not.

In the spirit of Mr. C's book, I would also like to post whatever images I have of monkeys.

A few months ago, I freelanced at an agency in the city and worked with an AE who explained to me that he really liked monkeys in TV commercials. This was about the time of the Super Bowl and is concurrent as well with other well known commercial running on TV. It is an old advertising axiom (maybe even specific to the Super Bowl ad no-so-free-for-all) that animals (and sex) moves product. Personally, I think the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" was not at all what it was said to be. I htink it was intentional. Funny, when I was watching that show, I was the only one in the room who saw it. I turned to ask the others if THEY had seen it, but they were all preoccupied with other things. At first, I thought I had hallucinated it. Later it was obvious I hadn't. Poor Janet. She just wanted to make a few mammaries.

Well, I think, yes, monkeys are funny in TV commercials. One of my favorite movie series as a child was Planet of the Apes, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Abbot & Costello Go to the Planet of the Apes, Slightly to Left of the Planet of the Apes, etc. My grandmother in Nebraska once even had a Spider Monkey caged in her basement. WEIRD! I remember once when it got out, I walked up the stairs from the basement, saw it eating butter, or something, on her kitchen table and was terrified--I was always afraid of spiders, hahaha! Where she got that monkey I'll never know. Maybe, since my dad reads this blog, he may enlighten us! My grandmother used to have a lot of weird animals--barn owls, raccoons, a Ted Bird, my cousins and I... Maybe that's why I've owned snakes, ferrets, and other animals. Runs in the family. Funny, no monkeys (except Alexander!)

I've attached the few monkey drawings I HAVE done to augment this post.

[Sorry, Scott, the only way I could fit Chimpie in was thusly. Hey, at least it's another monkey book!!]

The title of, and this post itself, is dedicated to my friend, Julianne (seashell eyes), and her own little monkey, Annie.

No Soy Marinero, Soy Porky Pig

In one of my previous posts I mentioned that sometimes you have to draw a lot to get a little accepted. Here is a perfect example. Click on the image to see it embiggened if you like.

This essentially is a logo exploration for a gift shop. I'm not entirely sure every version we did is represented here. Never knew one could draw a pig in this many ways, huh? Ultimately the 4th pig at the top was chosen.

Welcome Back My Friends To The Show That Never Ends

I was recently asked the question, "am I sure I want to venture this close to the mind of Johnathan Thompson?"

Take a look, then, if you dare...

From a sketch I did for a possible web page for myself.

HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid....

A Fish Story

Sometimes a thought just snippets and you just don’t know what to do with it.

I’ve always been told that we Thompsons were a simple race of mongrels. Really, who in the U.S. isn't these days? With new evidence to the contrary, however, I know I must have some Celtic heritage, demonstrated by some recent info I found on the web. No surprise, though, my family having come from England. Said info is mostly associated with those of Celtic backgrounds, by the way. I’ll let your respective imaginations run away with you all.

More recently, I stumbled across this in some recent research and found it fascinating:

http://irelandsown.net/birthsigns.html

Check it out. Bet you didn’t know you HAD an Irish zodiac sign! So, according to the European (traditional) zodiac, I am a lion; the Chinese zodiac, I am a dragon. Pretty tough, huh?

According to THIS zodiac, however, I am a salmon. Ooooh, tough guy! Johnny “The Salmon” Thompsonini. Look for me to show up in new episodes of The Sopranos--or maybe wrapped up in your next sushi roll. I always thought my rosy pink flesh was good for something...a little dill, a little butter...

[Intercom SFX: Donner, party of 8, Donner, party of 8......Donner, party of 7, Donner, party of 7......Donner, party of 6, Donner, party of 6...]

Unfortunatly, all record of the ur-Thompson arriving on these hallowed shores had been lost in a fire.

Sometimes you’re the fisherman. Sometimes you’re the fish.

₫i$₦€¥, or not ₫i$₦€¥

[Click on illustration to embiggen.]

There is a member of my “family” who, to this day, still wonders why I don't work for ₫i$₦€¥. Maybe one of you out there has wondered the same as well? John:cartoonist::cartoon success:₫i$₦€¥--this illustration is a perfect example of why, or why not, maybe.

These are character creations for a group I fell in with that was trying to sell a cartoon about "eco-heroes"--protectors of the environment. I had answered an ad in my local paper and stumbled across this guy and his wife in York County. I showed them my work, mostly student work, and also some early stuff from my first job. Nothing remarkable, looking back on it. Trust me, I looked at my portfolio work from that period and it was quite raw. Usually is. I guess some people develop over time, as I seem to have. At least design-wise.

If the premise of this cartoon sounds familiar, I'm sure it is. At roughly the same time, Turner was developing Captain Planet. Seemed the time had come for environmental superheroes! That was the late ’88-’89.

"Mister, we could use a man like Captain Planet again..."

I don’t have the two main characters represented here, however. The lead character was to be a funky black woman with a hairdo remarkably LIKE Captain Planet’s. Her sidekick was a muscley Dolph Lundgren type. I even made his outfit a crab shell. Why? I don’t know! I don’t have these main characters because they were taken to present in California to some animation studio heads. I may have copies hidden SOMEWHERE, but...here is where the lesson comes (and why I am not a ₫i$₦€¥ Drone):

The meeting in CA went well, we were told, but...wait for it...the people they met with were only interested in the scripts. Lesson: draw all you want, create characters, animate until you are satisfied, but what is really important is the storyline. Any schmuck can animate, but animation is done in Korea these days. In order to be a character creator/story writer, what have you, you have a pretty uphill trek, trust me. It’s like that in every business. Years of hardship until SUCCESS!

Was I discouraged? No, not really. I was just starting out in the Wonderful World of Advertising! Animation WAS an exploration for me just like any other exploration. Somehow advertising stuck. Maybe it was when one of my former employers told me that I understood marketing, and the why of what we do, like no AD he’s met before. Just paying attention, I guess. My constant curiosity as to why we do things. He may or may not have been right, but the why of anything is VERY important to me.

Sidebar: Big surprise! John wants to know why! When I was younger, I was told that I didn't respect authority. Heredity, I guess. Must've gotten it from my great grandfather. Anyway, who died and left them all boss? 2% is not a MANDATE, folks!

At any rate, though, I’m not a big fan of ₫i$₦€¥. I prefer independent animation. I remember seeing an independent animation program (foreign, if I’m not mistaken) on PBS when I was a teen. Back when there were only 4 channels and maybe a few cable access channels as well. Boy, anti-₫i$₦€¥, THAT was exciting. By the way, when I was creating characters for the “eco-heroes” project, the biggest complaint about my characters and animation was that they weren’t ₫i$₦€¥esque. that was definitely a deal breaker for me. We were going to do ₫i$₦€¥ when ₫i$₦€¥ was already doing that? Not very breakthrough or interesting if you ask me! These days anyone with Flash and a computer can animate. Thank God!

Basic premise, write a story, animate it, post. How raw and caveman can you get? The Wonderful World of ₫i$₦€¥, my thighs! my buttocks...

The basic ₫i$₦€¥ premise, btw--protagonist, love interest, annoying talking critter, and lots of product placements.

"Corporatocracy...all my skin is falling off of me...₫i$₦€¥ isn't what it used to be..."

Know why ₫i$₦€¥ bought/merged with Pixar? Because Pixar movies were outselling ₫i$₦€¥. Know why? Not the animation--₫i$₦€¥=traditional cel, Pixar=computer. Because ₫i$₦€¥'s stories weren’t as good! So, they bought 'em up! Boy, I hope ₫i$₦€¥ doesn’t ruin Pixar. Maybe not, with Steve Jobs (see: Macintosh) at or near the helm. However, if my tale is any indication, it’s quite possible ₫i$₦€¥ will ₫i$₦€¥-ize Pixar, i.e. corporately homogenize a very clever and wonderful product.

Let’s hope not.

So, let's review: Last 4 Pixar movies: Toy Story 2, Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles. Last 4 ₫i$₦€¥ movies: Pooh's Heffalump Movie, Valiant, Chicken Little, Kronk's New Groove. Enough said.

It's fair to note that ₫i$₦€¥ has pretty much owned Pixar for a while, but Pixar remained autonomous.

P.S. I have to give "Captain Planet" its props since it was the precursor to Cartoon Network, of which a few shows I am a fan. Nickelodeon, CN and the rest DO show original animation, thankfully, as well--Adult Swim anyone? Uh, not in the hot tub with you, John.

The Kintigh Strikes Back

“If I could be a [political cartoonist] I would, but I can't,
because I'm a f@#%*g [graphic designer]!”

As a preface to this story, it’s fair to note that when I did my first post, I mentioned that the De-evolution of Bud Leith was the most prominently remembered cartoon from my school days. This wasn’t entirely true. The first thing my Little Brother Chris remembered was George Bush & the Chocolate Factory dreamed up by Spanky. Also, only one person responded to that first post, or all of them, for that matter. Not exactly a mandate.

That being said--when I was a smaller fry (before the advent of my biggie-sizement) I fancied that one day I might be a political cartoonist. I also fancied that people who used the word fancy are too fancy for their own fancy pants!

I was 14 and had the hots for my 9th grade Spanish teacher. I think. Of course, at 14 you have the hots for everything, it seems. So, I thought to myself, “How great would it be to become a political cartoonist?” My Pequeña Señora Española del Profesora (so named as I’ve forgotten su nombre) would fancy me!” HA! Not really. Artists are always looking for validation, however. Cartooning was my way of showing off for the girls or to avoid beatings by the stunted rednecks in my hometown.

Now I do it just for the mad cash!

I remember doing an Iranian Hostage Crisis cartoon in my Pequeña Señora Española del Profesora’s class. Oh, those Krazy Khomeini Kollege Kids! By the way, on a side note, had I been old enough at the time, I would have voted for Ronald Reagan. Scary, huh? I DID vote for Reagan in 1984. Did you see any of that coming? Much of the nation was caught up in Reagan’s cult of personality at the time. I was no different. My excuse was political naivete. Heck, I remember singing the chant for Nixon against McGovern in 1972! Again, naivete.

Anyway, around the time of my nascent political cartooning career, I also met the Omaha World Herald’s political cartoonist at an exhibition at Peru State College. I still have an autographed book of his work somewhere. I can still picture cartoons he did of the Republican nomination race in 1976. Funny ones of Reagan! In that same exhibit, our little virgin teenage eyes were exposed to a room FULL of cartoons from Playboy. All done by a single cartoonist. All rejections. Boy, my art teacher hadn’t expected nudies! One of that days lessons I learned, my friends, was that you had to draw ALOT of crap to get a just a LITTLE accepted. I have a longer story about that later.

Maybe my little artistic ego wouldn’t have been able to take all that rejection. Rejection is still hard. As I said, validation. Most likely, because of that, the political cartooning career thing never took off. I did continue to draw political figures though. These beauties were done in 1989-90. I was relatively prolific at the time. New environments and situations tend to bring out fresh creative bursts in me. Early 1980s, late 1980s-early 90s, etc.

I remember ONE cartoon I did for the Penn State Wilkes-Barre student newspaper in the early 80s for my history prof. He was my James Watt hatin’, tree hugging, Native American loving Naziism & Fascism teacher and, boy, he was thrilled when Watt crashed and burned! Looking back, and reading up on the guy, I’m glad he did too! That cartoon was of my first “published” piece. I hope to find it one day.

Sad to say, I’ve lost many, many Reagan “I am your father, Lane” era drawings. Sadder yet, I’ve lost the need for validation. Saddest of all to say, I also lost the name of my sweet Pequeña Señora Española del Profesora.

But I didn’t vote for Bush I. Gracias, Lane.